Sexless Relationships
Sexless marriage or relationship generally refers to a situation where partners experience few or no sexual encounters, although there is no universally accepted definition. Signs of a potential sexless relationship may include having sex less than 10 times in a year or not at all, a lack of physical and emotional intimacy, and tension between partners over the frequency of sex.
Sexless relationships are not uncommon, with approximately 15 percent of romantic relationships identified as lacking sexual intimacy, according to a recent study. The absence of sexual connection is frequently the primary reason couples seek assistance from me as a Couples Sexual Wellness and Relationship Coach.
For many couples, the hiatus from sexual activity can extend for months or even years. In some cases, sex stops abruptly due to a significant event or turning point, while others experience a gradual decline over time.
Debates over the absence of sexual activity can arise among some couples, while for others, it becomes an unspoken issue, akin to an elephant in the room that neither party wishes to address.
Taking the first step to address a prolonged lack of sexual intimacy can be challenging for couples. This difficulty may intensify over time.
Given the uniqueness of each couple's situation, delving into the dynamics that led to this situation is crucial before suggesting a path forward if I were guiding you through therapy.
Various factors contribute to sexlessness, such as sexual desire discrepancy, mental or physical illness, poor communication, and boredom. Sexual desire discrepancy occurs when one partner desires sex more frequently than the other. Health conditions, medications, and communication issues can also impact the level of intimacy in a relationship. Boredom in a long-term relationship can lead to a decline in sexual interest.
The mental health effects of a sexless marriage can be significant. Frustration and conflict associated with the lack of intimacy may lead to feelings of insecurity, rejection, and loneliness. Relationship and life satisfaction may decrease, potentially resulting in negative behaviors such as affairs, substance abuse, and depression.
While many consider a satisfying sexual relationship important for a successful marriage, it does not necessarily mean a lack of sex is a deal-breaker. Some individuals are content in sexless marriages for various reasons, such as asexuality, equally low sex drives, religious beliefs, or a shared understanding that sex is not necessary for a loving connection.
Rebuilding a sexless partnership involves open communication, couples therapy, intimacy beyond sexual activity, and efforts to enhance romance. Strategies include expressing desires openly, addressing performance problems, embracing intimacy in various forms, incorporating romance into daily life, planning for intimacy, and introducing variety into the sexual relationship. Although overcoming a sexless situation may seem challenging, research suggests that with time, effort, and effective communication, couples can rediscover satisfaction and confidence in their sexual relationship.
Given the uniqueness of each couple's situation, delving into the dynamics that led to this situation is crucial before suggesting a path forward if I were guiding you through coaching.
Nevertheless, there are common steps that can initiate a positive change. To commence rebuilding sexual intimacy after an extended period without it, consider the following:
Open Communication:
Initiate a conversation about the issue together. Despite potential feelings of awkwardness, research indicates that discussing sex as a couple is integral to achieving a satisfying sexual connection. This dialogue allows you to collaboratively address the situation.
Prioritize Sex:
Recognize the importance of sexual intimacy by making it a priority. Couples who maintain passionate and loving sex lives prioritize it, viewing it as essential and allocating dedicated time for it.
Enhance Non-Sexual Connection:
Strengthen your overall connection outside of the bedroom. Busy lives often impact not only your sex life but also your general connection. Addressing disconnection in other aspects of your relationship is crucial for working on intimacy within the bedroom.
Get your sexual relationship back on track! Book your confidential, complimentary discovery call to learn more about how I can support you and your relationships.