The practice of getting authentically naked - how well do you know yourself?
“The inward journey is about finding your own fullness, something that no one else can take away.” Deepak Chopra
Some time has past since my last post. Over the course of the past few months life has continued to transform - a marriage to my heart connection, expansion of my coaching practice, product development and business foundation for my line of eco - friendly menstruation products (more details in the coming months); summertime adventures and connected, soulful sharing with my daughter. I also delved deeper into sexuality, emotional intelligence and empowerment and experienced my own confrontation with raw vulnerability and healing because of surgery.
Throughout the course of these super charged months, I have had a lot of opportunity to explore authenticity - both from a research perspective and from an individual perspective.
Authenticity is a buzz word that has been circulating for a while now. What does it really mean to be authentic? For us to own our true authenticity it means truly getting to know ourselves, stripped down, free of the ego, raw, exposed and naked.
Many of us are quite gifted about making sure that “who we really are” never has a chance to be heard. We turn on background noise—television, radio, the Internet, or the telephone—every time we have a quiet moment during which the inner voice could be heard. We seek outside of ourselves for our answers, instead of taking the time to go within and listen, inquire, and explore our own truth.
While we may be quite knowledgeable about the world outside of us—the world we have studied, trained in, or practiced—what about the inner world?
Many of us of all ages still fail to share ourselves with others due to lack of self-knowledge, self-awareness and fear.
If we don’t know ourselves, guaranteed that others don’t know us either.
And, if we don’t trust ourselves, guaranteed that others shouldn’t either. We are too easily influenced by other people’s desires, choices and opinions.
Finding one’s true authenticity means to be vulnerable to our own feelings no matter how far they may veer from what we “think” is correct. We have become so programmed to operating on autopilot - stacked with years of conditioning, societal pressures and life demands that for so many, we truly do not know what is most important to us and better yet, how to live true to our values.
There is a shift occurring and people are wanting more out of life but too often the “more” comes with the constant drive to fill up externally without the delicate balance of the internal.
Relationships are forming, and others are ending. Some leave relationships because they have outgrown them and seek to create a new relationship based on the revised version of themselves. Yet, often, the new partner also becomes a commodity. The filling up is sought outside of oneself rather from within.
A small few will stay together and evolve through acceptance and by maintaining a loving space for each to grow individually while growing in the relationship. This is one of the key foundations to a conscious relationship (stay tuned for more on this topic).
As parents, one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is to create a loving and emotional space for them that fosters their own uniqueness. This can be tricky as it means that despite our own beliefs, we need to be open to how our children’s may be different and be able to recognize the differences and still maintain a supportive role. This is one of the key foundations to sex positive parenting - being willing and open to our children’s unique needs and desires as sexual beings and supporting them to make healthy and safe decisions for their needs.
Here are some inward journey questions to explore to get to know yourself better or to reintroduce you to yourself:
What do you believe—love, health, sex, spirituality? What do you really believe? Have you ever stopped to consider whether your beliefs are true? Have you ever questioned where your beliefs came from and if they are even really yours or whether they make any sense? “The belief system becomes the barrier for your eyes, you cannot see the truth. The very desire to find the truth disappears.” Beliefs cause us to stop inquiring into the truth. I invite you to inquire into the truth your own beliefs. (Osho)
What are your values? What qualities, characteristics, and principles do you stand for? It is just a happy accident to live in alignment with your values if you have never taken the time to identify them. By making a conscious list of the values that you claim as your own, you can consciously live in alignment with them.
What do you love? When are you the happiest? Sometimes we get so caught up in thinking about what is wrong, what we must do, what is next on the “to do” list, that we forget to notice (or do) what we love. Sometimes we neglect to even notice when we are happy.
What parts of yourself still need healing? The things we still need to resolve are the things that still evoke emotion. If we are still angry, hurt or ashamed by something from our past, it still needs healing.
What aspects of yourself to you love, admire and appreciate? We are so quick to find fault with ourselves. Acknowledge your strengths, talents, successes, achievements, friendships, relationships, attitude—what are you thankful for in yourself?
Explore with yourself the very same questions you might explore with close friends, a sweetheart and your family—what are your favorites? Interests? Passions? What’s on your “bucket list”?
When we take the time to know ourselves more thoroughly, not only do we improve our ability to create healthier relationships, but we also better position ourselves to live in integrity.
Then, in our moments of being alone, we may enjoy our own company enough to turn down the external noise and turn up the inner wisdom.
I am excited to help you get authentically naked and live your best life. If you have any questions or would like to book coaching sessions, visit the contact page to get started! I am so happy you’ve joined the tribe!
Always in support of you,