Let’s get our heart on! 25 tips to keep your relationship ignited
As we approach Valentine’s Day, we are flooded in the media with clever (and not so clever) advertising. But should love, intimacy and sex be something we celebrate once per year? Heck no!
COVID has certainly caused many of us to evaluate our relationships – not only our intimate partnerships but also the relationship we have with ourselves.
Regardless if we are happily cruising along on the love train or if we are really in need of a relationship tune up, these are some practical and beneficial practices that we can incorporate into our relationships.
Relationships = Love + Passion
Here are some magical ways to make your relationship spicier:
Prioritize your relationship:
Don’t let your relationship take a backseat. Don’t make excuses for being busy, tired, or just not in the mood. Invest time in your relationship so that you never have to end up repairing or rebuilding it.
Take care of yourself:
Only when you are healthy and feel good about yourself, can you give and receive love fully and authentically. So, remember to eat right, stay fit, and sleep well. A healthy body results in a healthy mind and that clearly reflects in your relationship.
Spend quality time together:
Date nights are good, but it’s more important to spend quality time without any intrusions or distractions. Whether you decide to get intimate, cozy, or just spend time talking, make sure it’s worthwhile.
Make room for play:
Play is an essential component of well-being. Sing, dance, role play, fantasize, laugh. This builds connection and desire.
Allow Anticipation to build:
“Honey, be ready for a surprise tonight.”
Imagine you get that message from your partner on a Friday when you are busy at work. You can no more focus on work but think what that surprise could be. That anticipation makes the evening a lot more interesting and maybe a little spicy.
How about you, too, doing something similar to your partner? That definitely enhances the romance quotient of your relationship.
A surprise date night, a day at the spa, an exotic holiday, or a weekend camping are just a few things to make your relationship interesting. There are several other intimate and priceless things that can take your relationship to the next level. Even if you have been married for a good 20 years, your relationship need not become boring or get stagnant.
Obstacle + attraction = excitement (Jack Morin, Author, Erotic Mind)
Give your partner space and have your space:
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean that you have to be with him or her 24/7. A relationship needs “breathing room” in order to desire one another. You are two separate individuals who need your space and freedom and to honour your sense of self. So, hang out with your friends, pamper yourself at the spa, or just spend some time alone reading a book or watching TV. Let your partner do the same.
Make those small sacrifices:
Small things such as stepping out of your comfort zone can help you a great deal in your relationship. For instance, your partner is an adventurous person who loves trekking, cycling, camping and walking in the woods but you like to stay at home having a heart-to-heart talk over dinner. For a change, join him in his adventure. He will be pleasantly surprised, and you too would be surprised to realize your potential.
Express your love often:
He loves you, and you love him — that is known, so why express it often? It rekindles your love, and is a reassurance to your partner. No matter how long you have come in your relationship, don’t stop from expressing your love for your partner and do it as often as you can. It strengthens their trust in you.
Have gratitude:
Gratitude makes you attractive. Be grateful for all the things that are working in your life and stop complaining about those which aren’t happening. Positive thinking and behavior are associated with better quality of life, and that makes you more attractive to your partner.
Make your hugs last longer:
Hug as often as you can and make it last longer and watch how the magic unfolds. Here are a few facts about hugging: hugging increases the ‘love hormone’ (oxytocin) levels and reduces the negative effects of stress (1).
Argue less, listen more:
As you are well into your relationship you tend to take it for granted, sometimes even giving a deaf ear to your partner. Make it a habit of listening actively and arguing less. by having dialogue or conversation. By doing that you show that you respect and care for them.
Satisfy their ego:
Compliment your spouse for the things you like in them. Tell them how good they look or how sweet they speak. It will not only boost their confidence but also make them love you more than ever.
Respect and nurture masculine and feminine energies:
Sexual relationships require polarization. Without it, passion fizzles. For feminine energy to thrive it requires being seen, understood and safety. For masculine energy to thrive it requires acknowledgement and praise, openness and support and freedom to pursue goals.
Stay positive:
All relationships have their ups and downs. But happy couples focus on being positive in spite of the unfavorable circumstances. They tend to look for the bright things without complaining about the negatives in their lives.
Discuss your goals and dreams:
Your spouse is your ‘better half’ for a reason. So share your dreams, aspirations, and goals with them. You might get a better idea of your goals while talking to them. Similarly, listen to them when they share theirs. Do not dismiss their aspirations.
Make them feel special: If there’s a sure shot way to get your spouse’s love and attention, it is to make them feel special. Bake a cake for her, buy his favorite drink or give them a massage.
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Dress up:
Remember the way you would dress to impress your partner when you were dating? You would try to look your best when you were with them. Years must have passed, but you can still do that. Revamp your wardrobe, try a new hairstyle, and change your dressing style – watch the fireworks after that.
Physical touch:
Whether it’s kissing, handholding, hugging, or cuddling, they are sure to steam up your relationship. So, include physical touch in your everyday routine.
Public display of affection:
Some people like it and some don’t, but why bother about others? If your partner likes it, then go ahead and indulge in some PDA. Don’t worry too much about the undue public attention that you might get.
Set the stage:
After a tired day at work, your partner needn’t hit the sack right away. You can set the stage with some aromatic candles, flowers, music, and some wine. Relive your early days of the relationship and enjoy the moments.
Nothing like a quickie:
Whether it is just before you are heading to work or at your partner’s lunch break, just be up for a quickie. It can leave you with a great mood for the rest of the day.
Sex:
This is an essential ingredient to spice up your relationship. Don’t let any excuses come in your way when it comes to having sex. If your partner is too tired, tantalize them with a massage.
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Write a love note:
Writing letters may not be a ‘cool’ thing but writing a personal ‘love note’ for your spouse will take them by surprise. Go ahead and unleash the romantic side of you.
Empathize with your partner:
If your spouse had a bad day and takes out his frustration on you, don’t retaliate immediately, calm down, get them a cup of coffee and empathize with them. Ask them what went wrong that day and try to bring them out of that mood.
Be independent:
Apparently, when you display those shades of independence, your partner is likely to get attracted to you. So, go ahead and do what interests you, whether it’s a road trip or bungee jumping. But take these decisions in congruence with your partner.
Have friends to rely on:
Maintain a circle of friends with whom you can share your thoughts, happiness, and disappointments. Keep in touch with them so you can fall back upon them when needed.
Life becomes boring if you continue it to be static and follow a simple routine. Your relationship with your spouse, too, turns mundane, where sex is just another mechanical task and romance is non-existent. Each person is responsible for making the relationship great, in other words it takes two to tango but you each have to take the steps!
For further support, book your complimentary, confidential discovery call:
https://choicesforsexualhealth.com/request-empowerment-coaching
Always in support of you and your relationships,
Love Corinne